Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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