He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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