Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
