I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize