would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
