Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
