i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
