i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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