nut hugger
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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