if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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