i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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