He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
