I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
