I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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