Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
