the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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