the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
