Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
