Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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