I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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