i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
