if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
