so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
