I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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