Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
