alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
