Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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