I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
