how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
