i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
