I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
