Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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