I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
