I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
