ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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