Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
