I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
