My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
