O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
