i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
