I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
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Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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