i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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