literally had 100 drinks last night.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
