I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
