well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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