i permit you to call me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
4 words: hood of his car
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize