omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
