was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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