I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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