When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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