A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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