I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
