the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
