I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
