Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
