It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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