Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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