im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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