Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
