We won't sleep together?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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