and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
