the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
