Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
