I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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