Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
