you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
