please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
