This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
