Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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