so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
