I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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