Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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