I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
