I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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