On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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